Pros & Cons of Picking Out Your Own Engagement Ring

The benefits and drawbacks of going with your partner to pick out your engagement band.

Pros & Cons of Picking Out Your Own Engagement Ring

Photo: Artisan Events

As we forge further into the new millennium, we’re seeing old wedding traditions die out to be replaced by new modern practices. The bride’s family no longer has to foot the bill, grooms aren’t asking permission from their girlfriend’s parents to propose, and adding some color to your white gown isn’t out of the question. One trend we’re seeing pop up more and more has to do with the initial engagement itself: many pairs are opting to go ring shopping together, instead of making the design a surprise. 

Though many grooms – as well as brides – are still sneaking off to browse bands without their sweeties’ knowledge, going to the jeweler together is gaining popularity. The proposal should not be the first time that marriage is mentioned in a serious relationship, and if you’ve been dating for some time and know you’ve found the person you want to spend your life with, having a discussion about marriage is important. During these chats, it’s up to the both of you to decide on how you’d like to go about getting engaged. If you both want a ring to be involved, the selection process of this sparkler should also come into question. To help you choose, here are the pros – and the con – of accompanying your partner and selecting your own engagement ring.


-   Hints won’t be necessary. The most obvious upside to taking part in this process is that you can select your own ring! There won’t be any confusion or miscommunications between your style and the piece your sweetheart picks out for you.

-   Quality time with your partner. This can also be another excuse to have a fun and unique date night. Since the choice is wedding-related, you can find out how you work together as an affianced couple before anyone has gotten down on bended knee.

-   Checking off the first wedding decision together. This will be the first step you’ll take as a pair toward planning your nuptials – how special that you get to complete this task as a duo.


-   You won’t be surprised. This is the only true downside to going with your beloved to find your ring. The decision to team up for the selection process weighs heavily on the importance you personally put on the surprise element of the proposal. Of course, this isn’t to say that the circumstances that surround your beloved popping the question won’t be a surprise – though you might interpret every sweet gesture or night on the town as a sign of a proposal, which may drive you crazy – just that you’ll know exactly what to expect before that little box is opened. The element of surprise will be more pertinent to the engagement for some more than others, so weigh this con against the three pros to see what’s best for you!

Find out what to do if you don't like your engagement ring, discover what you ring setting says about you, and view Claire Pettibone's new vintage-inspired line of engagement rings from Trumpet & Horn.

Opening photo by Laurie Bailey Photography